Meet The Staff
Xander Hawthorne
Serving as Hawthorne Industries' Executive Vice President of Education, Value Extraction, and Grifting, Xander oversees all operations at Sweet Roll Academy with ruthless pragmatism. Son of Wonderland's Mad Hatter, Tobias Hawthorne, Xander seeks to leverage the academy as a way for the Hawthorne family to drive shareholder value – be it by harvesting the bountiful resourecs of the Tulgey Woods or finding new and exciting ways to modernize Wonderland. A connissuer of Baja Blast and banality, Xander approaches every situation with a strategic mindset and an eye for opportunity.
"I love Machine 🥰"
Moira
A Graduate Student and "Ward" of Hawthorne Industries who arrived one curious day at Wonderland's new Rabbit Hole terminal. After causing the malfunction of multiple image scanners and inciting a fifteen second riot, she was detained and brought in for questioning – jumpstarting her first meeting with the infamous Hatter Jr. himself...
"I will be reborn a-moo!"
Chib
Chib is a small bunny plush who resides atop Moira's head and is rarely seen apart from her. According to the Muffin Scholar, he is self-aware and loosely compares his creation to that of the late Frosty the Snowman. She has declined to explain further.
"....."
Westa Rey III
Dean Westa Rey III is the granddaughter of the White Rabbit and the exhausted administrative center of Sweet Roll Academy. She handles academic affairs, staff coordination, student crises, public image maintenance, and the consequences of whatever Xander has just modernized. Xander creates systems. Westa survives them.
"Coffee? How quaint, but I am powered by nicotine."