ENROLLMENT OPEN: CYCLE 404
Shape Your Future.
Survive The Madness.
"Sweet Roll Academy isn't just an education. It's a legally binding lifestyle choice with high-yield potential."
- Xander Hawthorne, EVP
Moira is here too!
LATEST ANNOUNCEMENTS
⚠️ OFFICIAL NOTICE
All students must report to the Poob Theater for mandatory orientation.
- Bring your student ID (or a convincing forgery)
- Snacks will NOT be provided but you are expected to share! Note that you will be held liable for any allergic reactions or choking as a result of this act of sharing.
- There will be a digital tour of campus following your orientation; be sure to reserve your time on the VR Headset in Advance and decide whether you will be paying in $MUFF or billing your student account.
Failure to attend will result in a visit from Marvin.
⚠️ OFFICIAL NOTICE
Welcome back, suckers students! We hope you enjoyed your break and are ready for another thrilling semester of education-adjacent activities.
Please note the following updates:
- The Math Wing remains on lockdown - Do NOT enter, we're super cereal!!
- Tuition has increased by 47% (inflation, you see)
- New vending machines installed in the restrooms
Remember: Attendance is mandatory strongly encouraged!